My parents first became aware of my musical interest when they found me in the basement at age five, seated on the bench pretending to play the upright piano that my parents stored for my grandmother. I don’t remember whether or not it was hearing my grandmother “tickle the ivories” that inspired me to go to the instrument and try it for myself, or whether I came by the inclination naturally or through sheer curiosity. In any case, I would sit and pretend to play, and I learned very quickly what sounds I liked and which I did not. I discovered that I could make more agreeable sounds by striking only the black keys. When I tried all white keys or a combination of white and black keys, I did not like the result. But playing on all black keys sounded good, and demonstrated that I had perhaps an even more important talent, that of a discerning ear.
A musician friend of mine always joked that my grandmother did not play “by ear”, but “with her ears”. Besides the silly picture that such a statement brings to mind, that all playing involves the ear and more importantly, a musical sensibility that distinguishes those with natural physical aptitude – gifted with good hands and excellent hand/eye coordination – and those that have the “ear” for making their music truly beautiful. Over the years, I have come to deem this distinction as more and more important, and that the ear is often the difference between being simply a musician – someone who has developed the technical skill needed to execute the music – and an interpretive artist. The artist is the musician who has the most discerning ear, and has the ability to raise the level of his or her playing to an aesthetic level higher than that of more ordinary musicians. In this case, not only must the physical technique be in place, but an intellectual and emotional intelligence at work as well. Artists, therefore, are the rarer breed, and I am still unsure as to whether an ear for the aesthetically beautiful is natural or can be developed. Obviously I do not know whether or not I had this kind of ear as a child, but I do remember as a student, rarely being satisfied with the quality of sound that I was producing. I remember that the sound didn’t aLways have to be pleasing, but that it had to reflect what feeling or effect that I wanted to project. What I decided to strive for was a sense that the character of the music had to jibe with what I imagined what the music was saying.
I don’t know if what I have described above is clear, but the point is that I am trying to find some evidence that supports my belief that some musicians are great at executing music, that some musicians are great at conveying the sheer beauty, emotion, and an intellectual understanding of what they play, and those who possess the capacity to integrate all of these aspects into their performances. As I said, I have no idea when I began to really differentiate between mere execution and the addition of an aesthetic that allowed me to imagine a specific quality to the music making, but I do know that such a distinction has become more and more important to me over the course of my career.